


The New Project

by BookshopLaura



Category: Shetland (TV)
Genre: Depression, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 16:19:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18502570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookshopLaura/pseuds/BookshopLaura
Summary: Post Series 5, Duncan is working through some issues.





	The New Project

**Author's Note:**

> So I got a bit of a plot bunny from watching BBC Shetland. Not sure how in character this is for Duncan, because I haven't watched the series religiously, but in the last few episodes it struck me that he was having a bit of a hard time, and if you've read my Merthur stuff you'll have noticed I have a tendency towards angst. Therefore I thought I'd try out from Duncan's perspective.

Duncan's doing up the cottage where they found the young woman's body. There's a lot to clear up, and he's already been down here three times before. There's a skip outside and he's managed to strip out and clean and repaint the upstairs and the room which would once have been a lounge, and heaven only knows what it's been used for recently. But he's been putting off the kitchen. He knows he needs to do it. If he wants to sell, and get any mention of this place and the memories it evokes off of his paperwork and out of his life. But it's a mess, and the signs of what went on in here seem to be more tangable, and a lot slower to clean up. 

It's like an exorcism. Duncan feels like he needs to scrub the place clean and then get rid of it, because maybe then he can move on. Maybe then he won't have the dreams where he's on the beach again, and the water is full of bodies, so many bodies. And he's calling back to the beach for help. But this time it's Jimmy watching him from the beach. Just watching, disappointed. Then he shakes his head and turns to walk away. And he can hear himself screaming 'no, it wasn't me! I didn't'. But Jimmy keeps walking and then Duncan wakes up. Jimmy doesn't. Duncan thinks he must scream out, but Jimmy doesn't mention it in the morning. Just tells him to get to bed earlier the next evening. As if an earlier night would be of any benefit. 

Jimmy's not happy about the effort Duncan's putting into the cottage. Not that he knows which cottage it is, and Duncan's not keen to tell him. He's not sure why. Maybe because he thinks Jimmy would object or offer to help. Or worse maybe Jimmy wouldn't care. And would still carry on moaning about Duncan losing interest in the bistro so easily. About how it's just like him, how he never sticks at anything, but this time really does take the biscuit. 

Duncan shakes his head and tries to think of something else as he starts emptying cupboards. Maybe his long term plans. No, that's not particularly rosey at the moment. Sell the cottage, get on with running the bistro, until his inevitable screw up with that, when Jimmy will finally grow tired of putting up with him, and kick him out. He pauses with a can of alphabeti spaghetti mid air. 

He could not sell the cottage. He could do it up and move out here. He could sell the bistro instead. Jimmy would be really angry then, after all the effort, but probably not surprised. Then Duncan could just... stop going to places. Stop answering his phone. He could waste away here, and this cottage could just fall into disrepair around him. And Cassie and Jimmy would have moved on with their lives and forgotten all about him. Which stings, even as he thinks about it, as he puts the can back down on the shelf. But it would probably be better for them. He's always been a failure, Jimmy's always telling him that. Pointing it out in excruciating detail. And really, how much is your life worth living when the child you're closest to and the man who's you're best friend, who you're in love with, but won't ever admit it, frankly find you an inconvenience. An annoyance they have to live with, because. Because of a quirk of nature. Jimmy could do miles better than Duncan, romantically, and easily outdoes him as a father. Why does Cass need him, if she's got Jimmy. She should be Jimmy's, she is Jimmy's. The best he could do is leave her the money and get out of both of their lives. 

He blinks as he thinks this, pulling more cans of whatever the hell the smugglers were living off of/ feeding the poor girls out of the back of a kitchen cupboard. His phone starts vibrating in his pocket, and he bangs his head on the underside of the cupboard as he sits back.

His phone has 3 missed calls, from Cassie. Shit, he was meant to be picking her up. And now, it's not Cassie ringing.

"Jimmy, I'm sorry". he says, picking up the call.

"Forget something, did you?" asks Jimmy, and he's pissed.

"I know, I know. I'll go now." he says, as he's getting up.

"Don't bother, you've clearly got better things to be doing."

"No! No, I'm going!"

"I'm already here." says Jimmy, and hangs up.

His phone clears back to a picture of Jimmy and Cassie, smiling. But swirls in and out of focus as the tears well in Duncan's eyes.

\---

Jimmy's driving Cassie home, and he is really pissed at Duncan. Duncan, who had been trying so hard to do a better job as a Dad, and now apparently has dropped the ball, again. He's kicking himself, because he should have known better. He knows Duncan, and he knows he's about as likely to stick to something as it is for Shetland to get more than a week of summer. But he had thought he'd changed, and that's his own fault.

"What are we eating tonight?" asks Cassie, bored, staring out of the window. 

"I was gonna cook something" he replies.

"Eh, maybe not." says Cass turning to give him a look. 

"Well, Duncan was gonna cook something." he says,

"Did you get through to him?" she asks, annoyance clear in her voice 

"Aye. Gave him a piece of my mind." he says staring at the road ahead. 

"Shall we get pizza?" she asks.

"Sounds like a good plan, Darling, do you want to order?"

"Aye. What do you want?"

"Hawaiian."

"And Duncan?"

"Duncan?! Duncan can look after himself." he says bitterly

"Isn't he joining us?"

"I don't know, I didn't ask" he says flatly.

"Uh! Dad!" says Cassie, then she's picking up her phone.

"Hey Duncan. I'm just ordering Pizza for me and Dad. Do you want me to order you some?" She's far too nice, this daughter of his, he think's as he glances to his left to her.

"Are you sure? Are you alright, Duncan?" there's a genuine worry in her voice then, which make's Jimmy pause. 

"Are you sure? Do you want me to order you some there? ...You need to eat something? What did you have for lunch?...When's the last time you ate?" Duncan's been out all day, and Jimmy doesn't remember seeing breakfast things.

"Duncan!" she says, accusatory.

"Okay" she says, more placating, then hangs up.

"What's going on?" he asks.

"He says he wants to finish up and get it done. Says he needs to. I offered to get some delivered, but apparently it's one of those cottages at the far side of the island, and they don't do delivery out there. You know, the one down near... "

It's that cottage. Duncan's doing up THAT cottage. And Jimmy almost slams his break on. He does pull over.

"Dad? What is it?" 

"It's the cottage where the young girl's body was found" he says.

"Oh! Oh Duncan!"

"He keeps having nightmares. I can hear him sometimes, but I didn't say anything. I didn't want to embarass him..."which is suddenly sounding like a mistake. 

"And he's down there on his own. No wonder he sounded like he'd been crying." says Cass, and that's like a kick to the stomach. Because Jimmy's been pushing and jabbing him about focusing on the bistro and it never occurred to him to ask which property he was doing up. Never considered the cottage might be weighing on Duncan's mind. But he can see Duncan now, sat on that beach, looking so hopeless and forlorn. And of course that man would want to rid himself of that cottage, and he can't blame him. 

So he starts up the car, and carries on driving.

"Phone for the pizza's" he says. 

"We're not just going home?" says Cass.

"We are going home. You're ordering the pizzas, including a meat feast for Duncan. Then we're getting changed into some old clothes. You've got some old clothes at home still?"

"I didn't na take them to Uni!" she says, sounding horrified. 

"Then we're both getting changed, and we're taking the pizzas to him ourselves."

\---

Duncan's moved onto the next cupboard when he hears a knock on the door. And hits his head again. His heart races, because who comes down to an out of the way cottage like this at 9.30pm at night uninvited. He's wary as he heads to the door, opening it slowly, almost expecting trouble.

"Hey!" says Cass, jumping forward to envelope him in a hug. And he's surprised, but hugs her back. Over her shoulder he can see Jimmy, closing the back passenger door of his car. He's got 3 pizza boxes in one hand and a plastic bag with a bottle of something in the other.

"We thought we'd come and help!" says Cass, smiling up at him. And really, Duncan wishes his reaction had been a bit more manly, but his lips wobbling and his eyes are blurring up again. And Cass is looking worried, saying

"Duncan?!" And hugging him again.

But they're not sad tears. They came. He was feeling so alone and upset, and they had come. Even Jimmy.

"Ey, come on now. Let's get everyone inside, eh?" Jimmy's saying, the arm with the drink in the bag, coming round to touch his back and shoulders in a half hug, half gently push inside motion, and Duncan relents, trying to pull himself together as they walk through to the kitchen.

The kitchen table is covered in cans Jimmy's been piling up.Jimmy pops the pizza boxes down on them, and starts fiddling with them. 

Duncan turns to Cass.

"I'm sorry I forgot about..." but there tears are coming back again, and Cass is there.

"No, it's okay! You didn't mean to, I know that." And she's hugging him. He lets her, resting his head against hers and closing his eyes. He feels a strong hand on his shoulder, which squeezes slightly, then is rubbing comfortingly.

"You shoulda told me it was this place you were doing up." comes Jimmy's voice. And is accusatory, but only slightly. There's quite a lot of concern in there, concern for him maybe.

"I didn't want you fretting." he smiles.

"Ay, well, I'm fretting now. I don't want you coming back here on your own, Duncan." Duncan looks up at him, frowning slightly. But Jimmy's hand hasn't moved, and it's definitely concern now.

"Don't want me letting the bistro go to rack and ruin?" he tries quippin.

"Duncan, I mean it. We'll come back every weekend till it's done, if we have to. But you can't come alone. I don't want you coming here alone, Duncan. Promise me."

And when could Duncan ever argue with Jimmy.


End file.
